We’ve got no problems with people taking the occasional selfie, but there are some situations when you should just put the camera phone down
Mobile phone cameras have made it possible to easily take self portraits anywhere and everywhere, but just because you CAN doesn’t mean you SHOULD.
Most of the time we’ve got nothing against people taking the odd casual selfie (even when they insist on doing the dreaded ‘duckface’ pose) but there are some definite exceptions to that rule.
For your own good we’ve compiled a definitive list of all the times you should just put that camera away – something you might want to share with all your overzealous selfie friends.
1. When hundreds of men on bicycles are hurtling towards you at a high speed
Tour de France cyclists have been frustrated by spectators leaping into their path as they complete the English leg of the route, all to capture that much coveted selfie shot. It’s a serious safety risk for both the riders and the wannabe photographers themselves.
2. On a football pitch in the middle of a match, even if you just scored
After scoring a goal for US team Sporting KC, British footballer Dom Dwyera couldn’t resist posing for a celebratory snap when fans handed him a phone. We imagine that smile was soon wiped of his face when the ref handed him a yellow card.
3. When you’re just about to commit a serious crime
A 17-year-old Swedish girl used her phone to take a photo of herself and an accomplice wearing balaclavas and brandishing a 30 cm kitchen knife, just before they used the weapon to rob a restuarant. This made life extremely easy for police, who were able to use the image as evidence.
On second thoughts, we encourage all criminals to try the same thing.
4. When you’ve just been pulled over by law enforcement officials and are probably about to be arrested
Incredibly, this seems to be a bit of a trend, particularly amongst American teenagers. We guess if you’re stupid enough to speed, drive drunk, or whatever else they were getting stopped for in the first place – inappropriate selfie-taking isn’t totally out of character.
5. Standing close to an animal that might not be too keen to co-star in your selfie shot
This unlucky lady had an unpleasant surprise when she tried to capture a snap with this extremely disgruntled looking camel. If an non-domesticated animal is within biting, butting or kicking distance, it’s probably not a good idea to turn your back. However good the photo opportunity might seem.
6. Right in front of the scene of an emergency
We mean, come on now. Someone’s house is burning to the ground right behind you, and your first reaction is to pull out your phone, put on your cheesiest grin, and take a photo? This guy even seems to be wearing firefighter gear, which makes us wonder why he’s not over with everyone else doing something a bit more useful.
7. Anywhere you’re at serious risk of becoming an emergency yourself
An Italian teenager recently plunged 60 feet to her death after trying to pose for a self portrait on the edge of a cliff in the seaside town of Taranto. In Russia, a 17-year-old was electrocuted by wires when she climbed onto a railway bridge for the same reason, and a few months ago a US woman crashed her car into a truck and died whilst trying to post selfies online.
8. Any memorial or other location associated with a serious atrocity
This is so common there is a whole Tumblr blog set up specifically to shame the culprits. Most would consider a visit to September 11th Ground Zero, the Holocaust Memorial or Chernobyl a time for quiet reflection – but apparently not everyone.
9. At a funeral
We’re not sure if this is actually even worse than number 8, or just a different kind of bad. Someone you were presumably fairly close to has passed away. All around you people are grieving. The casket is being lowered into the grave mere feet behind from you. Time for a selfie!
10. In an operating theatre whilst someone is being operated on
We’re no experts, but we’re going to assume this MUST violate some sort of medical ethics code? Also, is that phone sterile? Again, we’re no experts, but that does seem like an important consideration when someone’s body is being cut open in the near viscinity.
11. When you are on the toilet
We don’t think we have to explain this one to be honest. Just don’t do it, OK?